Embracism A Little Racism

One thing I learned very ealry on after coming from a far away land to live in Australia, was that you’re either Aussie or you’re not.

Australia is a land that was founded upon racism, our History is rich of racially vilifying events. Racism is so common that some Aussies have just learned to accept it as part of day to day life and others still fight against it. But whatever your stand-point, there’s no denying that Racism has always been here and unfortunately for some is here to stay. Having said that, racism is everywhere, on the streets, in school yards, restaurants and so on. But in Australia racism is at it’s most prevalent when a major sporting event is on, like the cricket.

When you arrive in Australia it is inevitable that you encounter racism, but if you want to win Aussie friends and influence Aussies, it will all depend on the manner in which you react to our racial intolerance. You can either beat’em or join’em. Top Aussie blokes don’t want to hang around with someone with integrity to spoil their fun (like Harry Connick Jr), so if you want endless christmas party invitations to float you way, drop your guard and maybe even try racially humiliating yourself, you will quickly become the life of every ‘Aussie’ Party.

Beer Garden or Botanic Garden

Australian Ledgend VB

It’s a well known fact that Aussies love to drink, they spend on average 75% of their disposable income on alcohol and if you measured the amount of alcohol consumed by Aussies every year you would have enough liquid to fill the Amazon River 3200 times.

Another way in which Aussies like to spend their weekends is in the garden. Some people like to put on BBQ’s, some people like to grow a vegetable garden and others like to mow thier lawns whenever they’ve grown half an inch.

But as Aussies always do, they managed combine their passion for drinking with another of their passions, hanging out in the garden. And thus the beer garden was born where people drink beer amongst the serenity of lush greenery. Beer gardens where also invented so that people didn’t feel guilty about heading out into nature on the weekends.

If you want to become a top Aussie bloke, invite your co-workers to a beer garden on the weekend. They will give you enormous amounts of respect for thinking both environmentally and socially.

Laught At Everything

Top Aussie Bloke Eric Bana Palying Top Aussie Bloke Chopper

Australians are famous for their laid back attitude toward life, we love the sun, the surf, a drop of beer and if we feel up to it, occasional work. However, a true symbol of this nations greatest strength is our ability to laugh at just about everything.

Because we laugh at everything, I’m not going to go through a list of things we laugh at, but rather leave that to your imagination. What I will say is that if you come across someone that is seriously injured after a mountain bike accident, you’d better learn to laugh, no Aussie likes someone who takes life so seriously that they can’t laugh at someone else’s misery.

Laughter is a key tool in Aussie society. Aussie’s use it to pretent they like people’s jokes, even if they didn’t undersatnd them, in order to gain respect from someone superior or interesting. Never, ever, ask an Aussie to clarify something they said so that you can understand it, just laugh. The biggest insult you can give an Aussie is to make them think that something they said wasn’t funny or didn’t make sense, just laugh.

So if you’re trying to win friends and influence Aussies, both creating and rejoicing in laughter is crucial step. You will be tested, but laugh at everything and christmas party invitations will overflow your inbox.

Enjoy A Drop (Or Two)

Love of alcohol is paramount to existance in Australia. It can get so hot here that the only way to stay cool is to drink lots and lots of alcohol. Unlike in other countries, in Australia alcohol is more of a cure than a problem. It cures thirst, it cures boredom and it also cures ugliness. Yep if you need sex and cant find any women that you’re attracted to alcohol can help you, but you probably already know that.

If you’re thinking of migrating to Australia and want to enjoy thousands of frienships, consider dramatically increasing your alcohol intake. If you aren’t able to drink at least 12 beers after work every day you risk being called a “light weight” and not being invited to work functions and christmas parties.

Follow Any Sport!

If you want to fit-in in Australia, there’s one thing you have to know. Sport is the life-blood of this country, our nation thrives on it, we can’t live without it, it is the only reason most Aussies get out of bed in the morning.

We’ve already spoken of our love of Footy and Cricket but to the average Aussie no sport is out of bounds, our competitive hunger coupled with our love of anything but work makes us the ultimate sport loving nation.

So if you’re new in Australia and want to become a top Aussie bloke just follow a sport, any sport and you will be on your way!

Fishing

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Footy

NRL Players Training

Top Aussie Bloke

Top Aussie Bloke celebrating mothers birthday

Follow Cricket

Top Aussie Bloke and Cricketer

Cricket is a sport started by tbe English many, many hundreds of years ago and during the reign of the British empire they took the game of cricket with them to nations like India, Pakistan, South Africa, the West Indies and of course Australia amongst others.

Cricket is a key part of every Aussie blokes life because every man loves cricket and because Aussie women want nothing to do with it, which means blokes can relax in peace while the cricket is on. In order to follow cricket you will need to very, very patient, enjoy long periods of alcohol consumption, be able to tell the difference between a googlie and a flipper and have utter disregard for your woman for five days at a time.

Because most Aussies only really care about our internantional competition, there is no domestic rivalry which makes cricket a more agreeable game to follow. However, the international rivalry is intense and if you want Aussies to see you as a top Aussie bloke you’ll need to prepare yourself for a summer of racial sledging and slander otherwise your commitment to the game of cricket and to to Australia will be questioned.

Definition

Top Bloke; 1. Upstanding Citizen 2. Fine Gentleman